


untitled post-split ficlet

by baratitty



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, Post-Split
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 07:56:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1143473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baratitty/pseuds/baratitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It doesn't bother him anymore, he mostly ignores it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	untitled post-split ficlet

It doesn't bother him anymore, he mostly ignores it.

He can't check his interactions on twitter without seeing at least 20 tweets about Ryan and Ryden and how everyone misses him and them.

It's funny because Brendon misses them too. Actually, he doesn't find it very funny. He knows being in a band with Ryan would only cause a lot of trouble and in the end they would break up, "split", "go separate ways", again but that doesn't mean Brendon doesn't miss Ryan as his friend. 

Or his lover. 

He's married now. Sarah is a beautiful woman and he loves her more than anything in the world. But. Maybe it's because Sarah just laughed and shook her head no when Brendon asked her if she would ever fuck him with a strap on. He accepted the answer - what else could he really do - but. You know. 

It's not about the sex though.

He doesn't miss Ryan just because now there is no one to fuck him senseless - he actually bought some toys for when he's alone - but it's also about just having someone who can be your best friend, brother, and lover, depending how you need them.

Ryan was all of these.

First, they were best friends. They would talk about music and guitars and bands and /their/ band for hours, they would goof around, they had sleepovers where they didn't sleep much because they were playing video games or watching movies or what not.

Ryan was also like a brother. Whenever either of them needed to talk to someone or needed a hug, the other one was there for them. Sure, Spencer and Jon were good at listening or hugging, too, but. It was just different when Ryan was there. Brendon didn't know what it was but there was something special about Ryan.

Then Ryan was his lover. It started with _that perfect passionate kiss_ \- which was actually a drunk slobbery game of Truth Or Dare - but it turned into something bigger. Ryan wasn't a very touchy person, he doesn't like it to be touched unless it's really necessary but if Brendon touched him it was different. They fell asleep next to each other in the back lounge of their bus more often, woke up with awkward morning wood but just laughed about it. Until it wasn't funny anymore. The casual touches of fingers "accidentally" brushing each other became more frequent; instead of looking the other in the eye when they were talking they looked at their lips.

One morning when they woke up next to each other Brendon just asked, "Can I kiss you?" without even saying good morning first. Ryan didn't say anything for a moment. Then he smiled and leaned it. That was their second kiss. Kisses turned into making out which turned into dry humping which turned into handjobs and blowjobs which eventually turned into real sex.

The honeymoon phase didn't last long. The fights that they had about the band and the music would leave them not talking or touching for days. It affected their relationship a lot.

When the band decided it would be better if they went separate ways, Brendon and Ryan hadn't officially broken up yet. They didn't need to, the decision of the split was their break up. They both knew their relationship wouldn't work out if they couldn't work in the band together.

Brendon misses him. Right now, he's lying in his bunk staring at the ceiling. He wonders if Ryan thinks about him or them sometimes.

He misses him a lot.  He takes his phone and goes through his contacts until he sees Ryan's name. Taking a deep breath, he taps "Call".

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i love making myself sad wow.


End file.
